


the end of the dream

by Magepaw



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
Genre: Bittersweet, Canon Dialogue, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Growing Up, Possibly Unrequited Love, Siblings, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-25
Updated: 2019-07-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 08:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19971349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magepaw/pseuds/Magepaw
Summary: It would have been a pretty little life for her, if she stayed in Grado, if she said yes. Lyon would have treasured her, adored her, worshiped her. She would have studied magic with him, she supposed – lived comfortably in that gilded cage, shallow but safe behind its bars. But Ephraim would remain in Renais.





	the end of the dream

**Author's Note:**

> this is just me sorting through the mess of feelings I had finishing eirika's route this year ~~and i needed to get them out before i fall into FE3H~~
> 
> \- endgame spoilers obviously bc i got completely wrecked by how it went down and i'm not over it :,) 
> 
> \- the quotes are canon dialogue, title is [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQ5iuREPokw)
> 
> \- i tagged for the ship but it's uhhhh pretty one-sided and i lean towards ot3, so it's more of an eirika study bc BOY SHE GOES THROUGH SOME THINGS, DOESN'T SHE

_"Eirika… I… I've always… I'm sorry… Forget what I was saying. I could never be like Ephraim… One day, I will be a prince worthy of you, and I will see you again."_

The courage of his almost-confession lingered in Eirika's memory long after the redolent perfume and brilliant colors of the royal garden had faded. How she'd tried those words on like jewelry, heart fluttering fast each time she imagined it, allowing herself these foolish flights of fancy. She still believed a bright future lay before the three of them, and this must be how it would fall into place.

Alone in her bedchamber, Eirika brushed her hair delicately behind the curve of her ear and tried to imagine it was his fingers, his touch. She did not have much to go on. Her friend rarely dared to touch her. Lyon was often reduced to trembling hands and averted gazes whenever Eirika drew too close, as though she were something sacred he could not hope to fully behold. She liked to imagine him with more confidence, worthy of being equals. She thought she might like to hold his hand in that garden, someday.

Only when Ephraim entered her room without knocking and startled her from her reverie did Eirika feel the creeping guilt settle uneasily in her stomach. It was easier to be around Ephraim, to fall into his pace as two halves of a whole, and not let matters of the heart weigh her down the way they never seemed to weigh on Ephraim. It would always be the three of them, after all. Imagining a future without her twin there did not feel complete. If only they could bring Lyon to Renais, so no distance separated them.

She laid her head against the comforting warmth of Ephraim's shoulder and let him stroke her hair, but she did not tell her brother what Lyon said, nor showed him the token he'd given her. She missed Lyon, but so did Ephraim. It felt strange to keep this a secret from him, but it wouldn't be the last.

She knew, as they all knew. Lyon never learned to guard his lonely heart the way others did, in his painful desperation to give it to someone, anyone, who would accept him. He did not have siblings to confide in and support him, after all, and privately she pitied him for the isolation of an only child. Eirika and Ephraim were his first and only friends, and it was plain to see Lyon loved them both far more than he could ever learn to love himself.

It would have been a pretty little life for her, if she stayed in Grado, if she said yes. Lyon would have treasured her, adored her, worshiped her. She would have studied magic with him, she supposed – lived comfortably in that gilded cage, shallow but safe behind its bars. But Ephraim would remain in Renais.

Eirika remembered well the mask of awe and shame on his stricken face the day she'd disarmed Lyon in their duel, and the strange regret that stirred in her because of it. Her strength frightened him. She did not like pointing her sword at someone as softhearted as Lyon, who only wanted power in order to help people, and decided she would no longer participate in their sparring, leaving Ephraim to enjoy his uncontested victories. Her mind conjured instead the gentle smile Lyon reserved only for her, and pretended she could smile back the same way, open and honest and full of hope, one day.

Eirika wondered, sometimes, given Grado's position and her duty to serve Renais, if her father would have given her the option of saying no.

* * *

Hope was a fragile thing, trampled as easily as the peace she had always believed would last. Grado invaded, and Renais crumbled, and all of her childish dreams were lost among the rubble.

Eirika fled the castle to save herself, and death became her constant companion. All that was light and good in the world dimmed further as each sacred stone was crushed one by one. Alone but for her knights, Eirika bore witness to the terrible rise of clawed and fanged servants of the Demon King. His monsters brought judgment down upon all of Magvel, spreading their destruction, devouring soldiers, civilians, children. Without Ephraim at her side, she did not have the strength to save them all. And throughout the horror, ordinary people still preyed upon each other, taking advantage of the chaos to plunder and steal and sow even more cruelty in their wake.

Eirika stared at the gore dripping from her rapier, at the bandit corpse that lay at her feet, at the reality of another man's death wrought at her hands. She refused to close her heart to those who needed her kindness, but instead tempered it with steel, no matter what it cost her – she would fight for those who could not, always, because her first duty was to the people of Renais, and her own feelings would always come last. She could not save them all, but she would save as many as she could. There would be time to allow herself to mourn later.

Eirika thought of the girl she used to be a year and a half ago, a sheltered princess daydreaming of a peaceful garden where she could grow old in the company of her brother and their dearest friend. Neither of them were with her now, when she needed them most. She wiped her blade clean on the grass, and carried on by herself.

* * *

When at last she was reunited with Ephraim, Eirika felt like she'd found a missing piece of herself, but it came with the bittersweet awareness that she was no longer the same girl Ephraim remembered her as. Her heart ached to know the sadness behind the intense blue of his eyes, the raw scars still healing along his skin, and knew he must see her scars as well, but neither sibling mentioned them. She sensed there were shameful secrets he held from her too, if only because she withheld the darkest parts of herself from him, now. They could both pretend to be the same, for each other's sake.

After her flight to Frelia, after betrayal, after _Valter_ , Eirika knew she was capable of protecting herself now, and no longer needed a big brother to do her fighting for her. Ephraim protected little Myrrh the way he used to protect her, and Eirika regarded the foster siblings with a strange wistfulness for what had once been. Perhaps the twins would never be as close as they had been before their father died, but together they were stronger than they could ever be apart.

Alongside Ephraim, Eirika was tasked with protecting the only power they had against the dark, the last hope of humanity. The sacred stone of Renais was so fragile cupped in her hands, a tiny light that flickered like a fading heartbeat in her palm. So much had been lost to the Demon King already. To the people of Renais, to all people, she must protect that light. She would fight to save whatever was left.

* * *

Eirika had been forced to accept that she could not save everyone, but refused to accept that _he_ was already lost, no matter what L'Arachel told her. Lyon, sweet, caring, naïve Lyon, so desperate to do anything good that he'd gladly efface himself to make it happen – the thought of that kindness being taken advantage of, being trapped and tortured in his own mind, was too cruel a fate for Eirika to even conceive of. But a princess's duty to her people must always come before her feelings. So against her wishes, Eirika found herself raising her sword against Lyon once again.

It was easier to fight when the Demon King twisted his mouth into that awful sneer, puppeted him into saying cruel words that would never have crossed Lyon's lips, because then Eirika could believe he was their enemy. Ephraim raged and screamed, but Eirika was always quieter when she was upset, pushing her feelings down and trying to focus instead on what she knew was right. She knew Lyon would never stand before her with such arrogant confidence, leering at her like an insect he wanted to crush. The real Lyon could barely look her in the eyes.

_"Are you listening, Lyon? Is this truly the girl you loved? Then I will use these hands to tear her limb from limb!"_

She would save him from this nightmare. He of all people deserved another chance.

Eirika chased after the monster wearing his skin, all determination and steel, and did not falter until they found themselves alone together at last. Dimly she was aware of the danger of letting him draw her away from the group, but she could defend herself, so she did not wait for her brother to catch up.

Lyon's wounded body crumpled to his knees before her, purple robes stained with blood, tome cast harmlessly aside. She kept her rapier leveled at his throat, cautious, careful, but he made no move other than to tilt his chin obligingly and gaze up at her. Lyon's eyes were as gentle and desperate as she remembered, and the tremble in his outstretched hands looked so real as he begged her to use her light and save what was left of his soul.

The real Lyon would have asked her for death.

On some level Eirika knew she was in denial. Wanting to trust someone was not the same as actually trusting them. And it was her duty to protect the sacred stone above all else. But Lyon… She could not bear to lose him too. If there was any chance at all, if any scrap of him still remained, she would not be able to live with herself if she was the one to deny him. If he was in there, watching, if he could seize the chance to save himself, then Eirika would never give up on him.

Even if they could not live together, she still wanted him to live. 

Eirika thought after all she had already lost, there was no innocence left in her to break. But as she watched the Demon King crush the precious stone into dust, she learned there was still one last childish hope lingering in her heart, and it died along with Lyon.

* * *

Eirika was numb. She could scarcely recall what happened to her after that, or how the others found her. There was a fog building in her, heavy and silent and suffocating. Through the haze of it she could not find the words to speak. All she knew was that she failed Renais, failed Lyon, and failed herself. And now there was nothing left. She sank beneath its weight without a struggle.

It was only when she found herself in the circle of Ephraim's arms, pressed against the familiar warmth of his chest, his fingers stroking her hair, that Eirika was finally able to cry.

* * *

It was not Eirika, but L'Arachel, who carried enough light to give them one last hope against the darkness. Lyon could not be saved, but he could be destroyed. The world was falling to pieces around them, but there were still ordinary people who deserved a chance to live, and so Eirika had to take up her sword one last time, not for herself, but for them.

When Eirika saw Lyon again, the real Lyon, she vowed to do what was right. He whispered his apology, his final wish, his confession. She gave him her promise.

She buried her feelings for him, and set him free.

* * *

_"No matter how it hurts, or rather because it hurts, we must learn to accept sorrow. We must take it into our hearts and tame our grief."_

* * *

After their father's funeral and Ephraim's coronation, the twins returned Sieglinde and Siegmund to the reliquary. Neither of them wanted the reminder of what they had used them for, of the parts of themselves they would never get back. Ephraim donned Fado's ceremonial armor, and Eirika ached to see her brother sit upon the throne and accept the weight of two countries on his shoulders. The last of Grado's royal line had been lost, and when the foretold natural disaster left their country in ruin with no successor yet appointed to lead them, Ephraim and Eirika did not hesitate to send supplies and take in refugees.

There was much to be done. Eirika devoted herself to restoration efforts alongside her brother, to help both Renais and Grado rebuild after the war. She did not know what else to do with herself after so much time on the battlefield. She had yearned for the fighting to end, but she had adapted to it well, and it would take time to readjust. Even sleeping and eating regular meals took an effort. Eirika struggled not to let fragile hope succumb to the darkness in her heart. It was as L'Arachel had told her – to concentrate on a better future, to take the peace they dreamed of and make it reality. Hope had to be cultivated and protected, or it was easily broken. She knew this all too well.

It was difficult to see anything past one day at a time, though. When she tried, Eirika could only think of the future she had once imagined, an impossible one where she and Ephraim and Lyon would be happy together, the three of them. It hurt too much to think of him now. The wound was too close to her heart. Studying together in the library, walking the gardens, watching the sparring matches, sneaking off into town to have fun – she could scarcely look at Ephraim without remembering Lyon at their side, his smile, his kind eyes, and it all threatened to come rushing back. She wondered if Ephraim felt the same when he looked at her. She couldn't bear to ask, not with the sadness that never quite left his eyes, the one fight he couldn't win.

She pushed the unbidden memories aside, to deal with later, alone. One day she would be ready to talk to Ephraim about him. One day those memories would be happy again. But Eirika could not let her feelings overtake her duties, not ever again. She would not allow herself to fail. Peace was what they all wanted. It would not come easily, but to honor Lyon, she and Ephraim would do their best.

**Author's Note:**

> i've also written [ephlyon](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21144431) if you haven't suffered enough :) or just yell at me on twitter @magepaw 


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